Faustian Bargain

It’s not as if I just crawled out of the rabbit hole, but seriously. . . I am beginning to believe that the world doesn’t really want the truth, or even something flimsily representing the truth. Everyone wants to feel better. Everyone wants to be corroborated and have their ignorance, I mean egos massaged. We have become lazy, and friendly with political subterfuge. All in the name of shiftless comfort.
John McCain was a good Presidential candidate in 2000. He truly was a maverick, and a man of the people. I probably would’ve voted for McCain in 2000 if he was the alternative to W or even John Kerry. Then this happened. “John McCain took the New Hampshire primary and was favored to win in South Carolina. Had he succeeded, he would likely have thwarted the presidential aspirations of George W. Bush and become the Republican nominee. But Bush strategist Karl Rove came to the rescue with a vicious smear tactic. Bush would deny any wrong doing in the attacks, but never denounced them as a tactic of his supporters. Rove invented a uniquely injurious fiction for his operatives to circulate via a phony poll. Voters were asked, ‘Would you be more or less likely to vote for John McCain...if you knew he had fathered an illegitimate black child?’ This was no random slur. McCain was at the time campaigning with his dark-skinned daughter, Bridget, adopted from Bangladesh.” (Anna Banks, The Nation) Bush never accepted fault, apologized, nor denounced these tactics. Additional “Whisper Campaigns” pushed by Rove and Charlie Condon (Condon now works for McCain) were that Cindy McCain was a drug addict and that McCain was psychologically unstable. These tactics have now been employed against Barack Obama and his relationships, positions, and record. These tactics that are the equivalent of noise, and red herring.
McCain’s political stance in 2000 is diametrically opposed to the man that presents himself today in 2008. He could actually run against himself. The maverick, the bane of the neo-conservative movement has been for alternative fuels, against off-shore drilling and still against drilling in Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (ANWR), believed in man generated Climate Change, believed that the Bush tax cuts were immoral, against Guantanomo torture, and for immigration reform. By the way, he’s changed his mind on all of these. He is half the man that he used to be. It’s not just a talking point, he is no different than the man in the office. You line up their positions, and when juxtaposed they are in agreement. (Actually 90% agreement)
So we see a changed game since Sarah Palin, and it can be similar to a rabbit hole experience. The message is still the same, but now theirs someone prettier to deliver it. The very criticism of Obama and his lack of experience and celebrity-like draw is the very genesis of the Sarah Palin experiment. An inexperienced governor with puffed up credentials, who was selected not because of her achievement but her gender. Her experience pales in comparison to the usual suspects that have been on the republican stage over the past few months. No one wants to give Obama credit for running a successful campaign against the biggest brand name in democratic politics who actually won more democratic votes. They forget that he has been subject to endless scrutiny, character assassinations, and a grueling campaign. He’s not just joined the fight like Palin. Palin doesn’t deserve the credit that she’s getting as if she’s achieved what Hilary Clinton did in her 18 million votes. All she has is a speech.
Now McCain, who has sold his soul to neo-conservative politics of war profiteering and rogue nationalism laced with a religious agenda to bring in the republicans that won’t benefit from their tax code. His selfless sacrifice to his country, that many upon many of better men than me have also endured has been exploited by the darkest-Karl-Rove-segment of his party. The wool over our eyes is that McCain has failed to tell us what he will do differently than his Republican party brother George W. Bush. What he has focused on is to tell us that Obama is a “tax and spend liberal” and misrepresenting his policies. I just received a letter from some family members stating the differences between Barack and McCain. The content was ridiculous, and factually wrong. The problem is that this is the information that is being disseminated out to the electorate. The very kind of politics that defeated McCain in 2000. A “Whisper Campaign” in which the candidate quietly endorses that goes deep into the gutter to create a negative buzz. The internet has enabled this viral type of libel by reaching an infinite number of people through YouTube, and blogs. In 2000 smears such as McCain was for gays and secretly gay, that he had lost his mind due to his stay in the now infamous Hanoi Hilton, that he had a black child, and his wife was a drug addict. When these type of adds were first used against Obama McCain announced his indignation and said that he would run a respectable campaign on the issues. The problem is, the electorate obviously doesn’t want one. It’s not sexy enough for cable television. The tragedy of it all is that the boring issues are what’s killing us a death of 1000 cuts.
I leave you with this information about the change in the economy from 2001 to today. And some info on another commonly misrepresented
• Gas prices from $1.60- to over $4.00
• +200 billion budget surplus -to 350 billion dollar budget deficit
• 10-12 billion dollars a month in Iraq

And this about Obama’s Economic Plan:
• “Although Republican John McCain claims that Obama would raise taxes, the independent Tax Policy Center and other groups conclude that four out of five U.S. households would receive tax cuts under Obama's proposals.” (Douglass K Daniel, AP)
Obama’s stance on gay marriage:
• “Although Barack Obama has said that he supports civil unions, he is against gay marriage. In an interview with the Chicago Daily Tribune, Obama said, "I'm a Christian. And so, although I try not to have my religious beliefs dominate or determine my political views on this issue, I do believe that tradition, and my religious beliefs say that marriage is something sanctified between a man and a woman." (From Lesbianlife.com)
Obama’s stance on abortion:
• Clearly on the side of choice of the individual but voted “present” in the Chicago legislature because a vote of “yes” is required to pass legislation. He voted present instead of yes or no during a partial birth ban because it didn’t have a provision to protect the mother’s health as the first priority and defined the fetus as “life”. Albeit, controversial but not for partial birth abortion.

“If y'all don't shut up, I'm gonna go out of my mind.”. Doyle Hargraves

http://my.barackobama.com/page/s/im46?source=sem-lb-59

In the end we are all Americans

In the end we are all Americans, disparate neighbors in the greatest country in the world. Is there really so much about us that is different? Are the intrinsic values that are the very fibers of our being so water and oil? These are questions that I find myself staring at the ceiling so often contemplating.

In my studies in leadership, whether during my Eagle Scout trials as a youth or in high school athletics the message was clear---lead by example. Own your words, and be the personification of your values. Not too far behind that philosophy was the message of unification. The terribly tragic thing is that these too fundamental laws of leadership have been abandoned by our political leaders. But I believe this problem is so systemic, that without some concession and acquiescence one can not become the president. The very standards that we hold our heroes to are the very things that we the electorate have allowed to be forgotten by our politicians.

The newsworthy accomplishments and the very crux of the reason to vote for a candidate are suddenly subordinate to something they said in passing. Someone that they met once in their life is what defines a person. Then there’s the off key joke or political “gaffe” that we’ve all heard on repeat, received in some chain email, or inundated on Youtube that is suddenly the measure of man.

This dumbing down of politics is so pervasive that careers have been made of it. The importance of government is lost in the cesspool of primetime politics. I admit that sometimes tax-code and international relations can bore the youth off of our faces. But it’s gone too far. We spent more time discussing “bible and guns” and the idiocy of Reverend Wright’s bigotry and warped national view then the fact that oil barrel prices exploded and our homes lost a quarter of their value. A salacious distraction from what was seriously devaluing the dollar, and the economic stability of America. We surpassed grim benchmarks in Iraq and watched Afghanistan become the most violent place in the world. This is morally reprehensible, and irresponsible. But so is Flavor of Love, Big Brother and so many of the other shows that captivate us.

Then we defer our rationality to paid editorialists who mold the status quo into their opinion or motivation. American’s as a whole, don’t really care about political minutiae. Most only care about what our favorite pundit’s interpretation of the news is, and that’s it. The decision of who we select as our proxy for such an important decision isn’t based on anything other than looks, or who our fathers told us were the bearers of truth.

When you really boil down American’s we all stand for mostly the same values. We all want everyone to have a shot at the American dream if they work hard for it. We all believe in a well funded and robust military that can stare down evil in the world and dispense wrath on those who dare do us harm. We all want our veterans to be assimilated back into civilian life honorably and sensitively. We all want to pay less taxes. We all want a government that doesn’t control the very essence of our freedom like who we can love, and where we can go. We want a government that we can trust. We want leaders we can be proud of and revere. We want the ability to worship without interference. We want safety and prosperity for our children.

I feel that we have given up on possibility and hope, in exchange for paranoia. We need to take back America. Our future, and our children’s future are too important to focus on what the “Primetime Media” tells us we should think. Consider that cable media is a business, and a business is reliant on bottom line growth. They are not in the business of perpetuating truth. There’s not much money in it.

“Right now, there is a whole, an entire generation that never knew anything that didn't come out of this tube. This tube is the gospel, the ultimate revelation; this tube can make or break presidents, popes, prime ministers; this tube is the most awesome goddamn propaganda force in the whole godless world, and woe is us if it ever falls into the hands of the wrong people. . “ Howard Beale from Network.

“This is the story of America. Everybody’s doing what they think they’re supposed to do.” Jack Kerouac

Big Day in the Life Of Ryan

I don’t usually exploit this venue to speak about personal accomplishments. When I write it’s usually a bitter diatribe. Sometimes I will celebrate the accomplishments, both dubious and laudable of others, but usually not mine. Today, however, I feel the urge to share a little with my wonderful readership. Although that’s probably just my mom, and she’s required to support me in all my ventures. And she already knows. . .
I got a pretty big promotion today. Actually, it’s the largest to date. It was pretty unexpected. Not so much the destination but the complete satisfaction of my demands. That is rare in the business world? It’s mostly unheard of. I’ve rediscovered my belief that there is integrity in the world, and that people do have the capacity for good.
In my life I’ve had a litany of regrets. Mistakes made arbitrarily, and others just not well thought out. A lot would argue I’ve lived a comparatively unexciting and risk-free life. And I would be hard pressed to disagree. But I used to operate under the assumption that hard work will eventually pay off, and talent plus effort---will be subsequently rewarded. This conversely has seldom been the case.
So here’s my nod to the big guy, and a sworn statement to be a little more “glass half-full” around here. And to those of you that are having doubts (mom, just kidding) persistence and determination does have a place in the order of the world.

The Dark Knight

I recently watch the Batman sequel, the Dark Knight. Then I went and watched it again. The film is pitch perfect. Flawless is another word that comes to mind. It’s a lot like the daydreaming that precedes a big trip, and when it finally arrives you are more than wholly satisfied.

It’s the Last Supper of genius. The Nolan brothers, Christopher and Jonathan have collaborated on their magnum opus. The have previously collaborated on numerous projects like Memento, Insomnia, Prestige and Batman Begins. If Begins was a great genre film, Dark Knight transcends the rigid convention that hero films are restrained to. When you consider the collection of acting talent, and the dark vision of the Nolan’s, whose particular lens is the soulmate to Bob Kane and Frank Miller’s dark muse, it’s a perfect storm of artistry. Combine that with the tour-de-force performance by Heath Ledger who truly brought the Joker alive. All of this united with a great script, kinetic confrontations, and the solid performances of the Best Batman Christian Bale, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman, and Michael Caine. This film is truly one for the ages. It’s not your daddy’s Batman.

The cast approached this film, like the previous one, with the earnestness of a serious drama or thriller. Oldman’s Gordon is the real deal. He’s the cop that you hope exists. He is the paragon of integrity and honor that Gotham truly needs. Caine and Freeman keep Bruce Wayne’s head clear and ground him when he loses his way. They both bring their distinct brand of humor to their respective roles that help balance the explosion of drama and violence on the screen. Maggie Gyllenhall delivers a strong performance that is occluded by the others but brings a range of emotion that I have trouble seeing her former, Katie Holmes, achieving.

In Dark Knight Bale becomes the brooding Bruce Wayne and tortured action hero that his predecessors couldn’t. His range of emotion vacillates between the love lorn and sincere, to cocky, to a visceral rage that jumps off the screen and brings depth to our hero. In Begin, the genesis of the Dark Knight is realized through the violent murder of his father and mother. Then he goes on a soul searching expedition and exhile to channel his anger and guilt. This time he has confronted the anger that drove him to come within moments of killing his parent’s murderer to the righteous caped crusader. This is a distinction that truly separates the hero from the vigilante, the right and the wayward. The evolution of character of the Batman is juxtaposed with the other characters in the world of Gotham to create the morality tale that Nolan so expertly pulls off at the end. “You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become a villain.”

Then there was Heath Ledger’s Joker. He was the definitive joker. I was floored, and I know that a lot of people want to throw genius and iconic around since his unfortunate death but it all fits in the blank. It’s as if he never watched Jack Nicholson’s rendition. This was an original, and legendary take on the canon’s most infamous villain. When Nolan cast Ledger to take on the role, some people questioned it. Nicholson denounced it. I wasn’t sold, but curious. I sat through the movie glued to the front of my seat in awe of his talent. His nuanced take and realistic characterizations of a truly maniacal character were masterful, and believable. The Joker has a line in Dark Knight that stuck with me, and although I tried not to over sentimentalize his performance, I was overcome with admiration. “In their last moments people show you who they really are,” the Joker said, when describing his preference for knives as opposed to guns. Ledger gave the performance of his life, and one that most who lived a longer one couldn’t touch. Nicholson was great as the Joker in the 80’s Batman, but Ledger was legendary. It’s as brilliant and layered as Anthony Hopkin’s Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs. Just as sadistic as last years Oscar winning performance by Javier Bardem as Anton Chigurh. And every bit as deserving of the Oscar.

Finally, the artist responsible for this beautifully complex thriller, which happens to be a part of one of the most prolific franchises of all time. He confronts such epic themes as love and loss, revenge, faith, justice, trust, and evil. In The Prestige Nolan posed science versus religion. With Memento he challenged the very nature of truth and judgment. He took a bold idea of what he thought we wanted from this genre, popcorn action or believability and cutting narrative that doesn’t sacrifice an ounce of action.

“His talent was as natural as the pattern that was made by the dust on a butterfly's wings. At one time he understood it no more than the butterfly did and he did not know when it was brushed or marred,” Ernest Hemingway once said about F. Scott Fitzgerald. After watching the hauntingly fantastic Dark Knight this quote kept running through my mind. Nolan has truly directed a masterpiece that transcends the hyperbolic boundaries that confine the hero genre. A continuation of the trilogy leaves me feeling ambivalent after watching this one. “You Complete Me,” the Joker sarcastically chides Batman. His iconic performance should be left as the definitive end to the character. Even though the Joker is Batman’s arch nemesis, the next one can stand alone on Nolan’s and his cast’s immense talent. Ledger was destined for this role, and sadly it will be his final “full” performance. He had so much to offer the world with his charisma, his ardent diligence to the craft, and his try anything mentality. I hope that Nolan will continue with his best work’s source material, but consider the legacy that he is a part of. Ledger’s light shined so bright that it truly stands the test of time, and deservedly has a shot at the best supporting actor legitimately. Even an announcement of the end of the trilogy would be better news to me then to hear that the Joker has been recast. Here’s to you Heath, I hope you Rest In Peace. . . Well done.

"Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it." Grge Car

This year feels a little different than last year. I don’t think it’s my age, but it could be. Some things haven’t changed, and others have. It’s a peculiar sensation nonetheless. Kind of like when I climbed the rope in gym class. No not really, but still uneasy.
I’m not so excited about this football season. In the past I couldn’t wait. I would read the news every day. Many a moment you could catch me stealing a glimpse at my cell phone to check out the NFL updates. This feeling is not dissimilar to the feeling a male has toward romance after a few years of marriage. (joke) But I am really not too hopeful about the NFL season. An array of reasons comes to mind. The free agent musical chairs, the disillusion of “Spy-gate”, the year after year disappointment in Charlotte, and the general malaise that comes over after watching run after run and interception after interception.
When you couple all of that with the unimportance this season seems to carry for me with ubiquitous political coverage, and economic anxiety that seems to affect everything. Is it just me, or a bunch of adults playing a game making an exorbitant amount of money frustrating to those of us trying to make ends meet hard to swallow?
I guess I’m just growing old and the little kid inside of me is dying a quick and sudden death. Hopefully this season will do for me, like the seasons they depict in film have done for others. Like the Marshall Herd team overcoming a season where the entire football team was killed in a plane crash. (A much more serious situation, but powerful) Maybe a better example would be the exploits of James J Braddock “The Cinderella Man” who provided an escapist fantasy of epic proportions of the classic underdog knocking the establishment right in the nose. Well, this is pretty lame because my troubles are so much more trivial than mortality and the depression. I guess I’m just more and more frustrated by the commercialism, prima donnas, and contract disputes that have become the narrative all off season. I’ll probably get over it. . .
Here’ my predictions:
· Jake Delhomme will be a (not the) league leader in interceptions
· The Panthers will have a string of injuries
· Fans like me will cry for the back up to play, and he will probably suck (i.e. Carr, and Weinke)



So if my prophecy comes true, I will have regained that School Girl excitement when the Panthers hopefully sign my favorite coach of all time. Bill “The Chin” Cowher!

"The time comes upon every public man when it is best for him to keep his lips closed.” Abraham Lincoln

It’s taken time for me to overcome my laziness, and self pity. Far too long, some would say. Then others wouldn’t care much, if any. . . I guess the question is, if a blog is written in cyberspace and no one reads it—does it exist? I would argue yes. Because the purpose of a blog can vary from author to author. Just like one man’s trash is another’s treasure.
I wanted to reintroduce myself a little. I have come to terms with many things introspectively. I’m a drastically different person than I was a decade ago. I recently turned thirty-years-old. Many greater men have posed this question, or the conclusion that was drawn from the question, before me. I think all birthdays can make street corner philosophers out of all of us. Especially the significant anniversaries.
What I’ve figured out is that the Ryan of yesterday was a man that defined himself through strong friendships, hopes and dreams, and the promise of more effort tomorrow. I lived in the moment, some could question my definition of living, but it sure felt like it. My accomplishments were executed in bursts of motivation, but with little earnestness. In retrospect I haven’t accomplished much as a man, and my list of regrets needs a table of contents.
My greatest successes are my wife and daughter. That’s a personal success that I am very thankful for, but somehow I feel a void that they can’t feel. It can be torture sometimes. This is not an indication of their vast importance, and fulfillment that they provide me. But an indictment on choices that I’ve made, and continue to make. Some of my past friends have succeeded with career, in life, in art, and faith. I sometimes wonder how they feel? I miss the relationships that once made me feel like I was connected to the very fabric of my existence. I can feel sullen at times, and struggle with my pedestrianism and personal lack of distinction.
This isn’t something that anyone can necessarily help me with, nor do I need to be pacified. I guess that it is something that I need to come to terms with. I’m hoping that I will find my muse underneath the bills, junk mail, and paraphernalia of a life incomplete. In the meantime I will cling to the very things that make me happy. My daughter and wife. My bible and guns. The few friends that remain close to me. And the distractions that I’m so passionate about. . .

(I think all men in their thirties are entitled to a pity party)