On the Record

The world can be a pretty savage place.  I’ve seen both sides of this.  Luckily my life has been relatively on the right side of things.  I’m not keeping score, yet I feel like I’m up a few.  I want to take a minute and say some things about some people that are truly amazing in my life.  These folks, family and friends have had a positive effect on me and mine.  It’s important to pause and reflect on the good.  There’s plenty of time for everyone else.  

My niece Violet.  It’s funny how in life you meet free spirits. Those spunky, creative types that wear a color that’s unexpected and or make some unique fashion choice that is theirs and unabashedly so.  Violet is only four, mind you.  But she is such a fun little girl to have around.  She’s happy most of the time.  She entertains herself by playing with a pair of shoes, or a fork. Whatever random item that’s around her she’s talking and playing, usually quietly.  She has an adorable laugh that makes you smile and want to hear it again and again.  Her temper can be like a match quickly ignited.  She is totally enamored with her mother, like all little girls are. And her mom, my sister, is able to solve the world’s problems.  As Violet would tell you.  She’d also be the first to tell you that you better not cross her, or you’ll have to talk to her mom!  I have had the last few months to get closer to her, and I’m thankful for that.  She has brought a lot of smiles, and giggles (for my kids) through her sheer presence alone.  I am thankful for that.  I hope that she will remember these past few months fondly.  She’s grown closer to her cousins and experienced some things that are part of living in my household.  Things such as our affection towards breakfast, movies, and music. I think her favorite food now is Pho, which is on the top of my list.  Like anything, you have to find the good.  I don’t think a year ago she would have planned to spend as much time with us as she has, nor would her mother.  But it has been one that I will remember and I’m appreciative for the privilege.  

Don, my stepfather. I’ve had the distinct pleasure to get to know the man my mom fell in love with her last few years on this planet.  In a way, that has brought me closer to her through my time with him.  My mother was convinced that her life was meant to be singular with regards to relationships.  She hadn’t had a lot of luck prior to Don, and was convinced that she was happy with her books, dog, and time with her family.  Who was I to tell her otherwise.  She met Don late in her journey, and he was the blessing she deserved.  Don has been a grandparent to my kids, and he dotes on them in such a loving way.  He has welcomed us into his family and he is very much a part of ours.  I’ve spent a lot of time with him talking life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. We see eye to eye on a lot of life’s perilous topics that drive so much division in this world. It’s nice to know that mom picked him, and I see why.  He is truly a great man, and family man.  He expresses his love through the generosity of his time, and his genuine interactions and curiosity about each of my family members. Again, I’m lucky and thankful. 

My wife… Meeting her, falling in love with her, and getting to spend the last sixteen years with her have been the most notable of all my achievements.  She makes it easy, so it’s not challenging.  So, it’s more of a gift from life to have found my soulmate at such a young age for both of us.  I’ve always been pretty basic… She is not. She’s the luxury model that is only available to those so fortunate.  Somehow, I was that individual.  She is a great life mate, and has ambitions about what our life should be both as parents, as a couple and as human beings.  Her character is without flaw, and she truly lives her values and her convictions.  She has worked hard to improve her parenting skills.  She takes time to discuss what went well, and how we can better work together to provide the best opportunities and lessons for our children. She gives each one of them so much love and affection, and care that I am amazed by her ability to multitask and find even a split moment to give me any attention.  She works tirelessly to help others.  She is truly a savant when it comes to organization and packing.  I’ve been amazed watching her help others that struggle with the immense task of packing up their life and purging what is not necessary (in a weekend).  It’s harder to give up on things than it seems—am I right?  For whatever reason, I’ve been lucky in love.  As an incorrigible romantic she’s made my life easy.  One thing about romantics are that we are too sentimental, and overly nostalgic.  We seek out drama, and when we don’t have it in our lives we find ways to channel that energy or at least hold it at bay.  She always asks me why I like the type of music I like (you know, the sad sappy stuff)? I don’t know the answer specifically.  I do know that I like music that makes me feel something. Especially when life is so dry or mundane, or even complicated.  She provides me the calm.  She allows me to be me.  She allows me to be ambivalent in life and in passion.  Damn, I’m lucky.  

My friends.  I’ve had the great fortune of having friends in my life. I have friends that I’ve known since I was twelve years old.  I have friends that I’ve met in the past five years.  I am not the most transparent of people.  I tend to obfuscate and put up barriers into what I’m thinking and feeling with people I don’t know—in person.  This medium, the blog, is a way to allow me to let it out.  It is most definitely an “overshare” however, that’s what I do… I can say what I say, and not have to get closer to someone else that I don’t necessarily have to worry about the relationship.  You can stop reading at any point, right? If you still are, I am thankful for those of you that invest a few moments of your time to learn about me and my thoughts and experiences.  My closest of friends stay in touch with me.  They know what I care about and will check in when they know that I need a laugh.  I appreciate each of you: Ben, “Nude Bob”, Aaron, Kipper, Phil, Alex are the ones that invest so much time with me.  Time is fleeting. So those of you that care to share some yours with me, you are a special to me.  You have been loyal, and I remain steadfastly so-as well.

As I look at the words before me I wonder why I take the time to write this.  I write it because I want it on the record.  I want people to know that there is good in this world.  That we can win.  That with some luck, and some effort life can be good.  When it’s not, take time to enjoy the moments that are bestowed to us. Have hope that those moments will soon become the more prevalent ones.  In life the score board may not be digital or even an old manual one with the edges bent that have to be flipped for every point.  It’s more like the sandlot games of old.  Where it’s hot, and people come and go throwing the odds in different directions.  Some people are more skilled, and others are just more committed.  The score doesn’t matter.  Just know the value of those around you.  Know that relationships matter. And no, it’s not the quantity. It’s the fact that they stay with you through thick and thin.  The score doesn’t have be on a board.  Your winning because you’re together.