Christmas Eve is where it's at. Christmas Day is Sunday to me. It's the day when all is hopeful, and Christmas is still in front of us. It's here but not over. So close, but not far away. People are full of cheer. Judgement is cast aside to be dealt another day that we all hope might never come. It's the end of both a great year, and even a year that was a let down. Or it can be the beginning of the year that brings change and new dreams for everyone. Friends both close and far away connect, and come together. Family forgets the sadness, and old disagreements are assuaged in lieu of the pleasant memories. They are the fruition of the season building to that fateful night before-- when the magic of Christmas overwhelms all of us.
The day of Christmas is often a let down. We aren't able to do the things we might have planned. Sometimes we don't get to see all the people that we had hoped to see. We eat too damn much. And when it's over we are exhausted and know that just on the horizon we have the worst day of the year. The day we put Christmas away for another year.
I know this isn't a guarantee, and not everyone's experience. I can testify to the consistency in it's occurrence in my life. I don't know when this happened. I can remember as a kid getting the chance to select one gift from under the tree to open. My sister and I were pretty good at guessing what was in the packages through our thorough inspection and interrogation of mom. I can remember that being a tradition well before I had a family of my own, and carried it on. I don't know if this is the reasons why... Or is it because when I was the recipient of all the gifts, and not "responsible" for providing it I'm sure Christmas was the best part. As the facilitator of the festivities, and one that has to go back to work the next day it is a fleeting moment...Christmas. The joy of childhood, and the debilitating anticipation of what's to come is a feeling that I don't know if I can ever feel again. I am able to feel some of that with my children, but it's not and never will be the same.
A life in retail has to be an influence. I've spent years corralling the curmudgeons and schmoozing the scrooges in stores up to the last minute of many a holiday season. Despite spending over a decade in stores working more and more hours, and getting less and less of a holiday-- I still maintained my affinity for Christmas. A testament to the power of a holiday that Capitalism has attempted to squeeze out every penny, and still it endures. But no that's not it.
It's something special. Something the music, the films, the stories have gallantly attempted to capture and still can't truly permeate our weary hearts and soulless society. It's in the loves of our lives, the laughter of our daugthers, and the wideness of our sons eyes. It's in catching our children looking out the window in the hopes of seeing what we all hope and believe to be true despite the naysayers. It's the magic of Father Christmas, the nativity, and the tradition.
So for me, it's the Night Before Christmas. The day when I feel love and feel the love of friends here, and long gone. I can see the memories of Christmas past cycling through my mind like a old, rusty projector winding in stereo as I see the images of my Christmases go through my mind. I wonder about the people that I haven't spoke to that have impacted me one way or another in my life, and I wish them a Merry Christmas in silent prayer. The music is just right, the holiday movies are welcome, and the eggnog is never too sweet.. I wish everyone a very Happy Christmas Eve, and a blessed holiday. Forgive and forget. Let's heal the wounds and celebrate the ties that bind us. Merry Christmas.
